Date: 2007-06-27 22:04 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Firstly, Julius is going to Spain - so don't come looking for him here not to mention I doubt I will see him come home at all this summer. And there's no way I'm owling him my journal just so you can speak to him and in Dorny's case, pester him. So you'll merely have to do without. Luckily for you, I am around and you won't have to suffer godawful withdrawal symptons.

The last few days have been crazy. We've had dinners practically every night entertaining practically every boring, stuffy person on earth connected to the family business. Titus and Annette seem to be having issues. Gee. I wonder why. So, please, someone tell me something of actual interest? I beg of you.

Date: 2007-06-02 17:30 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: grumpy

( Private to Sasha Capper )

( Private to Ernie Macmillan )

( Private to Ace and Bee )

Date: 2007-05-24 11:36 Subject: The Quintus Is Not Sick Security: Public Mood: exhausted

Seriously, people. I fell asleep in the common room because I was tired. Prefect rounds seem to have doubled up with half of the so-called responsible sector of the student body having fallen ill. Which I am not. And then of course, I started tutoring a couple of fifth years who just recovered and needed help. Which I have discovered is rather exhausting when half of them are blonde twits that drop hints heavier than She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Alright, that is unfair. They aren't all blonde. One is a red-head. And there's are two brunettes too. Just goes to show, eh?

And I ended up setting that first year a detention because he was poking people in the face with his wand and turning their noses blue. Do I see irresponsible use of magic there? I am NOT DELIRIOUS. And he cried because he's a snotty little Mummy's boy. I didn't do anything! I set the kid a detention he deserved! I didn't even yell at him!

Another thing, my hands do not itch. Isn't that supposed to be a sign? Yeah, well, sympton not experianced.

And I was stumbling about in my dorm, Vaisey, because I was drunk. Not ill. Got it? NOT ILL.

And I had a headache this morning, because Demelza Robins was ranting at someone whilst standing next to me in Potions. I have an earache too, just for the record.

But, I am not ill. So let me be, alright? And I promise, if I really do feel like I'm going to faint and can't give a valid justification for why, I will retire immediately to the Hospital Wing, for those concerned. Which won't be alot of you, I know. But the unconcerned parties, clearly that statement was not directed towards you.

That being said, I'm really rather liking brunettes right about now. Blondes, especially fifth year blondes, are starting to irk me particularly.

I'm too tired to go on. If anyone's looking for me? I'm hanging out in the Entwhistle free Private Study Area using my books as a pillow. Can you transfigure books into pillows? I'd best not try. In this state I might screw it up and have to explain to Sluggy or Carmichael why my copy of Advanced Potion Making is now blue, fluffy, decorated with stars and stuffed with feathers and not instructions for making potions. Go away. For a few hours at least, good Merlin. I hate this Prefect badge. The next kid to ask me to explain something gets an in-depth lecture on the essentiality of REM.

Date: 2007-05-14 08:22 Subject: Poetic JUSTICE, alright Security: Public Location: Ju-ju's office Mood: amused

Guess who I found sneezing in the private study area? Oh yes - the one and only Anal One.

He was so out of it when I was leading him over to the Hospital Wing I didn't have the heart to point out the dramatic irony of the situation, so I shall revel in it now.

Oh, and I found a pair of red sunglasses. Are they yours, Robins? Because if they are, Mr. Photo Happy nabbed them off me quite quickly and said he'd return it to you. And is that Professor Sinistra singing over there? Salazar's balls, that woman has a rather good voice. I mean, you never expec- JULIUS, I'm USING MY JOURNAL, YOU CAN WAIT, YOU GREAT PRAT.

Later all.

Date: 2007-05-10 10:02 Subject: Julius: 3 Security: Public Mood: confused

( Private )

( Private to Sasha )

Um, Secret Admirer, thank you for the roses? Not.

I am thinking I need to find myself a date. Would this dissuade the "Teenage Fan Club"? (Quintus' words, not mine, mind.) Discuss.

Date: 2007-05-02 11:23 Subject: Will the older siblings ever stop checking up on me? Security: Public Mood: bored

There are some people no longer worth even bothering taking note of. This shall be my only allusion to such persons henceforth.

In other news, I have recieved the usual "good luck, study hard, here's a couple of two-inch thick tomes to help you out and I'm a dry sod without anything interesting to say or any affection to spare" letter from Titus. But he did send a nice photo of himself - and an old family friend of ours I haven't seen in ages. Sassy, do you remember her? She's the one who stood up for us against Titus and Lucia's tirade last Christmas.

( Arabella and Titus )

Is it just me, or is he actually smiling? Julius, the man is SMILING! Shock! Horror! Run away!

Can everyone see how obviously bored I am?

Date: 2007-04-24 13:28 Subject: Julius: 2 Security: Public Mood: good

( Private to Adults )

Quick note for students: Er, anyone looking for help for TRANSFIGURATION, not any other subjects please, must owl me to settle an appointment.

The following students who have already contacted me previously have 4 o'clock appointments on the following afternoons:
- Patil, Parvati: Monday
- Davis, Tracey: Tuesday
- Dorny, Jezebel: Wednesday

Friday is not available to book appointments.

Another quick note for students: Here's the deal. I LIKE my brother. So stop bitching about him to me. Trust me, I am not preferrable to him in anyway. He's more decent than I am sometimes. Like with Lucia. Fucking Rowena, I have to go talk to Lucia and apologise before he DOES murder me now.

Enough of my public service announcements. How is everyone?

Date: 2007-04-20 23:57 Subject: You don't expect me to title this thing, do you? Security: Public Mood: royally pissed off

Ughffuck you Julius-effing-Harper!

If anyone actually so much as breathes the word "Quinnikins" in my presence, I will most certainly be rearranging their faces.

As for Parvati - flirting with faculty? You're disgusting.

As for Julius - could you NOT talk about your wand? Please?

As for Dorny. You are... beyond words.

And I DO NOT want a long and tedious Transfiguration, thank you very much.

That is all I have to say on the matter.

I need a smoke. Argh. Can't smoke. Stupid Julius.

Fine.

I need a drink.

Date: 2007-04-20 08:59 Subject: Julius: 1 Security: Public Mood: blah

I made Quinnikins strip some of those barbaric hexes off his journal so I could write in something for the benefit of all NEWT level Transfiguration students.

If any of you would like some additional help in the subject, you may come see me in my shoebox of an office - really, Min, this castle is huge and all I get is a desk? Exploitation, I say! in the afternoons. Or owl me - and I'll see whether I can see you during one of your study periods if you'd prefer.

- J. Harper.

Date: 2007-04-17 16:08 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: bored

Anonymous owls, eh? Don't believe for a moment, dear Journal Thief, that I haven't worked out who you are yet. I will have my revenge.

Cad, you idiot. Now I actually have to sit down and be vengeful in my thinking.

Meanwhile, I am relieved. Lucia is no longer engaged to unworthy men - though, I didn't expect her to cry as much as she did about it... But while I'm on the subject of family, really - I apologise for my, er, loud and irate reaction in Transfiguration. When Julius said he was going to surprise me, I honestly did not think he meant he was going to do it by starting WORK here at Hogwarts. Now I'll never be rid of him. Is it too late to drop Transfiguration, maybe?

Oh - wait. Stupid Healing. I can't drop anything.

The good side is that I won't have him for any of my classes. The bad is that he's invited me to go see him in his quarters tonight. Ergh. Where's a long, tedious, difficult essay when you need one?

And - ahem - I am NOT a Drama Queen, and it is not anyone's business as to whether I am speaking to Sasha or not. So keep your noses out of it. Robins, you foolish twit.

It's good to have my journal back. I've put more hexes on it, so - really, if you see it lying around anywhere, I would advise you strongly to NOT TOUCH IT. There's no telling what might happen.

Date: 2007-03-25 12:42 Subject: Er... Surprise? Security: Public Mood: busy

Fucking detentions. Salazar, I hate 'em.

If anyone was looking for me yesterday, I apologise. I had certain obligations to attend to.

( Private to Sixth Years )

( Private to Stephen )

Julius wrote to say he has a surprise for me. Can't say my pleasure isn't marred by strong suspicions.

Date: 2007-03-20 22:22 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: pensive

( Private to: Cadwallader, Sloper, Summerby, Miss Weasley )

Date: 2007-03-17 13:06 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: mellow

According to the replies I finally recieved from Titus, Julius and my mother - it appears I have to murder my entire family, save my nephew and my sister. Hhmpf. I'd probably also stand to gain the entire Harper inheritance if they all conked out too. I should consider this.

Obviously, this is impractical. So my mode of avengeing has altered.

Oh - and Julius is getting kicked out of the house, for those who read gossip columns - you've just heard one day earlier... It had to happen. I'm more amused than shocked. I think he wrote about looking into Hogsmede. Just as long as he stays away from the school, I'm fine. The last thing I need is to have his never-serious-self hanging about just when I need to buckle down and study hard.

Date: 2007-03-16 00:06 Subject: A Penchant for the Ironic Security: Public Mood: moody

I've just sent two Howlers home to each of my brothers.

I ranted. I raved. I was profane and impudent and threatened nastily.

It felt good.

And that's all you're hearing from me for a while yet, I presume. For those who are pleased at this prospect, fuck off. I don't give much of a damn about what you think.

( Private to Sixth Years )

Date: 2007-03-07 23:14 Subject: Other engagements... Security: Public Mood: worried

I'm writing this sodding early in the morning because I recieved an owl from my sister stating that she is engaged to a man I neither like, nor am able to communicate naturally with - which is a rare thing, believe me.

Clearly, I am not in the mood to offer my felicitations. Other than locating a skillet and chasing the "lucky" man to the ends of the earth with it, what is the acceptable response to such a situation? May I hex him senseless the moment I set eyes upon him? Obviously he's put my older brothers under some sort of enchantment. I can't believe they haven't disposed of him already.

I don't think she sounded very happy in her letter. It was rather officious and reserved. I'd be damned if a Harper is doing something, anything, they didn't want to do...

McGonagall, could I please leave the school for a few days in order to commit a crime, or rather, a service to humanity. Depends on how you see it really.

Date: 2007-02-23 17:56 Subject: I haff found ze culprit! Security: Public Mood: accomplished

Finally won back those points I lost last time I posted. I should get Os more often.

Good luck to Hufflepuff. May you trample over your opponents, and trample well.

( Private )

Tsk, tsk, Robins. Stealing another student's possessions is damnable by the loss of points and a detention. I didn't know you'd picked up the habit. Can you see the smirk, already? Return the missing items, or else I shall be forced to inform someone. After all, my punishing you would hardly be from an objectional vein.

Oh, and can someone please explain what this 'Capture the Flag' business is all about? Remember: rich, handsome, incredibly bored pureblood with hardly any contact with Muggle society here.

Malfoy, some third year wants to know something about joining the reserve team. I think he was too chicken to approach you. He wouldn't leave me alone until I'd said something to you. Hex him, or whatever - it's not my problem. See, THERE, you stupid third year, I just WROTE IT OUT FOR YOU, so you can quit waving my pot about like a flag. Twerp. Oh, goddammit. Here comes Sinistra.

Date: 2007-02-20 11:17 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Location: Class Mood: wtf?

Yet another pack of smokes have gone missing. That's it. I'm putting a tracking charm on the rest of my stash. WHAT IS GOING ON?

And for those wondering, no. I am NOT going to apologise to Demelza Robins. And I am NOT sorry that she recieved a detention or that she was so offended by my; rather apt, actually; description of her. And I do not care whether she needs to apologise to me or what. She is psychotic. Anyone who doesn't believe so must be terribly ignorant or terribly in love.

See if I care what you say to that, Ginny, my dear.

Date: 2007-02-16 17:22 Subject: Confusion Hath Invaded Security: Public Location: library Mood: confused

I have a number of questions to ask:

So, I trekked out of the dungeons towards the Prefect's Bathroom last night in order to meet the pink Patil and shut her up by getting her stoned - not completely, of course to give her the goddamned ink, and on the way had the unfortunate luck of meeting a certain psychotic, blonde Gryffindor girl who boxed my ears and demanded I give her a password that she had no right to ask for - and called me inhumane when I refused. Damn you, Robins - you incomparable monster-esque bint. Scratch that - you incomparable LOUD monster-esque bint.

And when I finally arrived - she wasn't there?!

Patil, I demand and deserve an explanation! I had to deal with Robins' abusive onslaught of psychoticness only to find you weren't there! ?

Luna, do you know which colours you are wearing? I shall be dressed in navy blue and white - though I doubt we can do anything to prevent clashing it will matter.

Is there a particular reason why Crabbe is drowning in his robes today? Anyone?

Where's my packet of smokes? I don't, as a rule, misplace my stuff. So, who picked it up?

And, while I'm at it - why am I here? Relating to the ultimate metaphysical question of existance of existance at all, of course. An age old dilemma - solved obstinately by the useless answer of "well, we are here, aren't we", given by twits and prats who can't be bothered using that thing stuffed in your skull they call a brain. Speaking of which, they say that your fists put together is about the size of your brain, right? So what happens when you get two people with two different sized fists, and therefore, two different sized brains - but are of the same intelligence? Does brain size relate to your level of intelligence? I ask, because I have met five-year-olds brighter than Croyle. And - yes. I am driveling. But don't get me started on the band of men who thought electric eels were rubber ducks.

Date: 2007-02-08 22:40 Subject: Just clarifying matters Security: Public Mood: annoyed

No. I am not sulking in my room.

No. I am not being a dashing brooding hero in empty classrooms, Tracey.

No, you can't have my smokes. I've barely got any left.

No, I am not attracted to midgets thus being the reason why I want to hex them, Robins. I don't know where you find your logic.

No, I am not the official drug dealer of Hogwarts. Go away and stop trying to insinuate stupid things that will get me kicked out.

Yes, I like somebody. No, I'm not going to tell you who it is.

Yes, it's my birthday on the 18th. If anyone wakes me up that Sunday, there will be blood shed. I want to sleep in till midday.

No, you can't play my guitar. You can't even touch it. You can stay ten yards away from it, if possible.

Someone left their Potions notes in the library. Yes, I will give it back to you if you ask. No, I can't read the handwriting. No, I didn't steal them.

Date: 2007-02-03 13:05 Subject: Laughing matters. Security: Public

Alright, so the deal is, I was strolling out of the Great Hall when I noticed that a couple of twerps of Gryffindors were glaring in my direction. Of course, being the amiable young man I am, I changed direction of my stroll and asked if I could help them with anything. Apparently, I can do so by getting lost. So, I asked why this would be necessary as I was perfectly able to stick around so they didn't have to go on a bothersome quest to find me if they liked me that much. They stared at me, and muttered something which I believe they believed was wonderfully inaudiable. But it wasn't.

Ergo, Quintus Calidus Harper I is now a smarmy git with an atrocious sense of humour.

Gryffindors can be highly entertaining when successfully needled, oui?

I think, with all these new developments in the war, we need something to laugh at. Slytherin'd better win this upcoming match. I've got a whole stock of butterbeer and some smokes, but no-one needs to know about those til they're needed. But then again, if we don't win, all the more drinks for me.